iheartRhett.com

sharing Rhett's heart with the world

September 17, 2015
by Jordan Spangler
Comments Off on 37 Weeks, Talon’s Birthday, Maternity Picture Preview!

37 Weeks, Talon’s Birthday, Maternity Picture Preview!

Ladies and gentlemen, we have only 17 days until Rhett and are at Week 37, which is FULL TERM! We are officially scheduled now for 8:00am induction on October 5th at Harris Downtown. Amanda went in to see Dr. Thigpen and everything went great. Rhett is weighing in a 6.7 lbs and is head down! Thigpen said he expects Rhett to grow another lb for each week, so hopefully we’re looking at an 8.5lb+ baby boy. Momma has managed to gain just 3.5 lbs all the way through this thing so far…she’s a freak. Amanda’s next appointment is this upcoming Wednesday and then we will meet with the doctors on the Friday (Oct 2nd) before delivery to determine if we need to go in Sunday night rather than Monday morning. I’m really hoping for Monday morning rather than Sunday night (Cowboy game).

FullSizeRender (1)

 

Honestly though, I’m a little disappointed that I don’t get to have the middle of the night surprise water break rush to the hospital, but I know the best thing for Rhett is for us to follow the schedule. From what Amanda has said it sounds like Rhett will either have surgery on the Friday or Monday following his delivery, but I suppose we’ll see once everyone get’s a better look at him.

It’s hard to say how I’m going to feel. I think Sunday having the Cowboy game that night will help take my mind off of everything, but I doubt I’ll be able to sleep that night. Monday I think will be full of excitement with Rhett actually being born. After the crazy day it’ll just be me and Rhett in our little home away from home while Amanda has to stay overnight at Harris. I’m really looking forward to the father and son time, but I have a feeling the emotions will hit me then, but I’m excited to have some quiet time with him. I doubt I’ll be able to sleep that night. Tuesday I imagine will be focused mode. I predict a lot of appointments with doctors and cardiologists and information overload about what to expect over the next week. Hopefully Amanda will be released and can come stay with us! I doubt I’ll be able to sleep that night. It’s hard to say what the week will bring, but I’m so thankful for our family and friends that I know are gearing up to be there for us through it all. I’m trying not to think about Surgery day. Right now I’m just excited to see my baby boy.

For now we are focused on getting everything ready before the big day. We have been working on Rhett’s room and crossing things off of Amanda’s checklist daily. I finished Rhett’s changing table and couldn’t be more proud, I’m looking forward to changing that first diaper full of poop, but only because that means that Rhett will have made it home. I can’t wait to carry that little man through the door and show him all of the hard work we’ve been doing for him.

IMG_3424

September 7th, we took maternity pics. I can’t wait to share all of the pictures with you, but here are some sneak peaks that Talon took with Amanda’s camera. Christie was so nice to let him take pictures and even help him. I really liked her and am glad that we’ll get to use her for most of Rhett’s pictures coming up. Talon took some that weren’t half bad, but I’ll save the actual preview for when Christie posts them on Facebook. We can’t wait!

IMG_2594 IMG_2590

September 12th was Talon’s THIRD birthday party. I know Rhett was excited to be there. Talon is growing up so fast and I cannot wait until I get to watch him grow alongside Rhett. He loves babies and is incredibly excited to be getting a little brother. We’ve been talking to him about Rhett being sick and he knows that Rhett is going to need medicine and the doctors are going to fix him so he can come home. He’s excited to get to stay with GaGa while we’re in the hospital. After the first week or so I think I’ll probably start staying home most nights and hopefully for some of those Talon will be able to come home and stay with me so he can play with all of his new toys he got for his birthday. Amanda and I were talking to him tonight and he brought up holding Rhett and we asked him “what if you can’t hold him?”, and he responded as kids always so perfectly do to make you smile, “I can hold him, he’s little bitty”. Side note: Sidewalk Chalk Paint is so legit, get some!

IMG_2625 IMG_2771

We’re ready to add another kiddo to this group of awesome cousins!

IMG_0662

Despite all of the craziness that we’ve been handed with Rhett’s heart condition, life is so so good. We have the best friends and family and I get to wake up every day next to my favorite person in the world. We’ve got a tough road ahead, but I know we’ll be able to lift each other up and even manage to have fun somehow through Rhett’s hospital stay. I’m not asking for a miracle at this point, but if surgery can just go well and we don’t have anymore unseen surprises I’ll be very very happy.

So here we are, time is ticking faster than I could ever imagine and days are disappearing one after another, but I am ready…we are ready…I hope you are ready too kiddo. We’ll see you soon.

 

 

September 2, 2015
by Jordan Spangler
Comments Off on Week 35 Checkup!

Week 35 Checkup!

Today was the week 35 checkup with Dr. Thigpen. Amanda went by herself and it was a pretty short and sweet visit. Rhett has turned upside down (how he’s supposed to be) and hopefully he’ll stay that way!

We’re starting to feel the pressure with only 32 days to go. His room is packed ceiling to floor with diapers and all kinds of other things! We were able to put together his co-sleeper for our room once he comes home. It’s pretty neat because it sits right up next to Amanda’s side of the bed so he’s right there with us, but not in the bed with us. It was a nice compromise. I know we’ll be super stressed out about him being home with us so it’ll be nice to be able to have him right there until he’s too big for it and we can move him to his crib. But we’ve got to get his room ready!!!

Rhett has been getting the hiccups lately, which is hilarious to me, but really annoying to Amanda. But at this point every time he moves it’s pretty exciting. With all of the craziness that is approaching it’s been really nice that the pregnancy portion has gone relatively smooth.

Amanda’s office, Azle Dental Care, is being amazing and all have I Heart Rhett shirts and are wearing them every Thursday at work. So if you are in the area and need a great dentist click the link and set an appointment! They’re the best in the biz.

Tick Tock…he’s getting closer and closer. We cant’ wait for him to be here. I’m hoping that I can ignore the surgery for one day and just focus on the amazingness of him being born. It’s hard to focus on with the imminence of the first surgery looming days after October 5th. I’m sure on that day it won’t be a problem, but it’s hard not to think that it will.

But nonetheless, excitement ensues!

Get big and ready kiddo, we’ve got your back!

August 28, 2015
by Jordan Spangler
Comments Off on Week 34 Checkup!

Week 34 Checkup!

October 5th is official! That leaves only 37 days until little Rhett is here…. eeeeek

Yesterday was the week 34 checkup. Another one that was pretty straight forward. Amanda had to get on the heart beat machine again, and apparently Rhett was not liking it cause he kept kicking it off. It wasn’t easy to get a good reading because it wasn’t registering. He started out at 150 bpm and made it to about 130 bpm and pretty much hovered there while the machine was actually reading.IMG_3324

Amanda has somehow managed to lose 2 lbs, but Rhett is growing as scheduled and is measuring a perfect 34 weeks. He weighs 5lbs! BUT, in typical Rhett form, he has decided that facing up and down was too boring so he’s now switched to sideways. But look at this face…how can I get mad?

IMG_3325

So, the only bad news we really got is that Pigpen won’t be delivering on October 5th. Dr. Howard will be there in the morning and Dr. Bannie Tabor will be there in the afternoon and will likely be the one delivering. Hopefully we’ll get a chance to meet him before he lines up under center (football joke for anyone who’s counting).

The plan will be to check in on the morning of the 5th and induce, but the Doc will do a check the week before and decide if we need to check in on Sunday night. I’m really hoping that’s not the case because as everyone knows, the Cowboys play in New Orleans @ 7:30. That’s can’t miss TV.

The next full on check will be at 37 weeks, but Amanda will still be going weekly for generic checkups.

Seriously though, only 37 days to go. I’m hoping the days don’t just pass us by. Amanda has quite a list of things to do and I really want to get them all done so she can relax for the few days before what I’m banking on being the most stressful month of our lives.

As always, thank you for all of the shares and comments and likes. I’m so glad we aren’t in this alone.

-Jordan

ps. Go Cowboys!

 

August 24, 2015
by Jordan Spangler
Comments Off on Shower Weekend!

Shower Weekend!

What a weekend! Friday I went to Waco to pick up the iheartRhett shirts from Robyn’s brother. The shirts turned out awesome, so I wanted to start this off with a huge thank you to Robyn and all of her hard work with the t-shirt fundraiser. She had already done so much, I insisted that she let me drive down there to get them. I’m a big fan of solitary road trips and with missing hunting season this year, I knew that this may be my last chance to get to drive solo for a long while.

I took I-35 to Waco, but wanted to take some back roads on the way home, so I took Highway 6 (a gorgeous drive) across to Meridian and drove into town on Highway 22. For a lot of people Highway 22 is just another road across small towns in Texas, but for me it was where I spent a lot of time as a kid driving from our home in Grand Prairie to San Saba, TX where I hunted for most of my youth. I thought back to driving across Texas with my dad, brother, and sometimes sister all jammed into the bench seat in a little bitty Isuzu pickup. Those were some of my favorite memories I have of my youth and I thought about taking Talon and Rhett on some of those road trips in the future and I can only hope that they look back on those trips with as much happiness as this drive brought me. I put on some old country music and cruised up through Glen Rose, which is somewhere I’ve never been, but am definitely looking forward to visiting someday. It seemed like a great place for a family vacation.

I was beyond excited to get to wear my shirt to BOTH showers this weekend (washed them in between, ha) . I can’t get over how great the shirts turned out. Robyn will be doing another order, so it’s not too late to get one if you’d like one. Here’s a link to the order page. (iheartRhett Shirts)

The first shower was on Saturday at Amanda’s parents house. The weather ended up being pretty nice for a Saturday in August and a whole lot of people made the drive out there. Sunday was a shower at my mom’s house in Midlothian for all of my family. There must have been 50 people there, but we found a way to fit and we had a great time. I want to make a special mention of my cousin’s daughter Samantha, who overhead her mom and dad talking about Rhett’s situation a couple weeks ago and wanted to use her own money to buy us a card and a gift card. She started 6th grade this morning, so a very special thank you to her for her kind heart and I hope she had a great first day!

Talon had a blast helping open the presents and he was super helpful in helping us unpack and put everything away. He’s our diaper carrying expert.

We received all kinds of great useful gifts and clothes for Rhett, but the best part about it was getting to see everyone and smile and laugh and have a great time. The goodbye hugs lasted a little longer than they normally do and we had our necks squeezed extra tight with wishes of good luck and I love you’s. Everyone wanted to make sure we knew everything is going to turn out okay.

So, as always a huge huge thank you to everyone and we wish we could’ve invited 1,000 people but then we wouldn’t have had enough cake.

Here are some pictures from the weekend!

Talon has decided that he wants to be a photographer!
Talon has decided that he wants to be a photographer!

 

IMG_2206

Hey, cool Yeti - Contact jayylda@gmail.com for more details!
Hey, cool Yeti – Contact jay.ylda@gmail.com for more details!

IMG_2216 IMG_2224 IMG_2209

Iron man!
Iron man!

IMG_2234 IMG_2243 IMG_2249 IMG_2250 IMG_2252 IMG_2261 IMG_2265 IMG_2274 IMG_2276 IMG_2285

Talon took this one!
Talon took this one!

IMG_2312 IMG_0354 IMG_0337IMG_2335

Pictures are fun...
Pictures are fun…

IMG_2351

#howtodad
#howtodad
#howtodad
#howtodad

IMG_2368 IMG_2372

They're always watching.
They’re always watching.

IMG_2383 IMG_2410 IMG_2427 IMG_2430

New pillow and blanket!
New pillow and blanket!
Strongman!

Strongman!

IMG_3302 (1)

August 19, 2015
by Jordan Spangler
2 Comments

Week 33 Update and Tentative Delivery Date

On to week 33!

Amanda had to fly solo today to see Pigpen. He got back from vacation and said “looks like you’ve stayed out of trouble since I’ve been gone”. I really hope he ends up delivering, we both like him a lot. Speaking of delivering we have a tentative date for delivery scheduled. OCTOBER 5th! He said this could change, but he’ll let us know for sure next week. Hopefully it doesn’t so I don’t have to make Jadi change the header for the home page! Ha!

Today was pretty low key, Amanda had to sit all strapped up again and press this button every time Rhett moved. He moved 16 times in about 20 minutes. His heart rate would fall to 99 and jump up to 132 in the 20 minutes, but this seems to be normal and not a big deal because Thigpen didn’t mention anything negative about it.

IMG_3264

 

Amanda was telling Thigpen that Rhett was acting up and switched right side up again as Thigpen was going to do a quick sonogram check and low and behold Rhett has flipped back over! Pretty sure that was yesterday because he was kicking Amanda’s butt.

She gained 1 lb since the last visit. Our next visit is next Thursday at 3:00 at Harris Downtown (where we’ll deliver). She’s probably going to kill me for posting this one cause I think it was just for me, but she looks too pretty to not show it off.

IMG_3263

 

So a nice little quick update for everyone who is following along. Next week we should know a lot more because they’ll be taking measurements again.

And I want to thank everyone as always for the kind words, prayers, and gestures!

All I can do is say THANK YOU!

 

August 18, 2015
by Jordan Spangler
Comments Off on A Lesson in Humility

A Lesson in Humility

Amanda and I had this plan before the wedding to start trying for a baby as soon as we got married (Talon had just turned two), so we started setting some money aside for a totally normal pregnancy and birth. Well, as we all know in this world, life can come at you unexpectedly. When we found out the news that Rhett was going to need surgeries and all of that, the last thing on our minds was money. All you’re thinking about is this little life that you created and why this was the hand he was given. You start picturing the worst, but then they tell you that it can be “fixed” and you start figuring out what to do next. His heart won’t ever be perfect, but he’ll survive and grow and learn and be for the most part normal. 

Obviously, you’re willing to do whatever it takes to make sure your loved ones are safe and get the best care they need. There is no other option really. When we started researching how much everything would cost it was overwhelming to start out with, but then we were able to start understanding insurance calendar years and out of pocket maximums and deductibles and it wasn’t quite as bad as we had feared. Luckily Rhett’s second surgery will fall in the same insurance plan period and by then we will have reached the out of pocket maximum with birth, surgery, and a 6 week or more stay in the NICU. His 3rd surgery will be around 3 years old or so, so we’ll have to meet deductibles and out of pocket maximums again.

I think it’s important to try to find some good in every bad situation and one that I’ve already experienced so far is a lesson in humility. I don’t think I wasn’t a humble person before, but what I’ve found to be the most humbling experience of my life is when someone helps you and you literally have nothing more to give than a sincere “thank you”. I’ve always loved to help others and give when I can and I don’t know if it’s a bad thing or not, but I found those moments to be my most favorite time and money spent because of how it made me feel to make someone else feel good. There’s not a much better feeling than giving. It’s why I love Christmas so much and have spent way too much on gifts in the past for family and friends. I think this Christmas will be a little different as we’ve already told our families that they are getting one shared gift this year and it’s a brand new bundle of joy (that’s something people say right? haha)

We were out at the lake this summer and as often happens under the night sky you get involved in some pretty good conversations. It was pretty late at night and Doug and I were sitting out on the dock hanging out and I started talking about all of this and how people had wanted to give us money and I think what he said will always resonate with me. Basically, he said not to take people’s blessings away from them. That they wouldn’t be giving to you unless they could or wanted to and all I needed to do was just say thank you. Asking for and accepting help has been the biggest internal emotional struggle I’ve had since Rhett’s diagnosis and while it hasn’t gotten easier, it’s become more necessary as we are getting closer to delivery day. Optimism has always been easy for me and maybe even to a fault sometimes because I just feel like things will always work out one way or another!

So, with all of that being said I’d like to thank Cappy for setting up a gofundme for Rhett. People have been asking us and those close to us how they can help, some wanted to remain anonymous and gofundme.com has an option to do that, which is cool. She advised similarly to Doug about not taking people’s blessings away and she wanted to provide an avenue for people to donate if they wanted to. Don’t worry, I’m not going to spam your facebook page or every post with this. The most important thing to me is still that everyone who is following along with Rhett’s story is able to come to this site or read my facebook posts and stay up to date.

http://www.gofundme.com/iheartrhett

So whether it’s $10 or $100 or a good thought or a prayer or a hug a or a share or a like. I hope that one day we will be in a place where we can pay it forward.

But for now, all we can say is thank you.

-Jordan and Amanda

 

August 16, 2015
by Jordan Spangler
Comments Off on Checkup and Baby Changing Table

Checkup and Baby Changing Table

Real quick: Jay/Carrie/Cody have started a fundraiser. If you’re interested in Yeti coolers email Jay @ jay.ylda@gmail.com

 

Thursday was a checkup for Rhett and Pigpen was on vacation so we got to meet with Dr. Arraut. She was really nice and she could potentially be the one delivering so it was definitely nice to meet her.

IMG_3208 IMG_3211

 

They sat Amanda down to monitor Rhett’s heart rate and her contractions for 20 minutes. It’s called a “non stress test” or Cardiotocograph. It was fun to be able to listen to Rhett’s heart beat for a little while. Rhett printed a perfect profile, which is great news! Take a listen!

So the not so great news, but not terrible news is that Rhett has managed to flip himself over into breach position, but the doc said there is a good chance he will end up flipping back. Hey kid, chill out dude!

The only good thing about Rhett having his heart condition is that we get to see him often with our checkup visits. They measured everything and his breathing, kidney’s, and fluid all looked great. Gross part is that he’s making urine and it goes back into the fluid and he “drinks” it. Got a little Bear Grylls action going on in there. Apparently this is normal?

 

Amanda had to get a whooping cough shot and it’s quite a large needle, not looking forward to getting mine!

It was good visit with everything checking out great. I love those. Take a look at this guy!

FullSizeRender

 

This started Amanda’s weekly checkups. Her next appointment is this coming Wednesday with Dr. Thigpen.

I started working on Rhett’s changing table this weekend with my mom and Talon. I still have to add the topper and stain it, but hopefully it’ll go pretty smoothly from this point. It was some pretty hard work and my lungs are filled with sawdust I think. Here’s a picture of what it’s going to look like, except the light blue/gray will be a reddish color.

IMG_3224 pic of bench IMG_3233 IMG_3232 IMG_3231 IMG_3230 IMG_3229 IMG_3228 IMG_3227 IMG_3226

July 30, 2015
by Jordan Spangler
3 Comments

Rhett’s Doctor Day!

Rhett had a busy day yesterday. We started with an appointment with Dr. Pigpen at 9:15 (we were a little late because the elevator didn’t work) at Baylor All Saints downtown (Hi Ashley). Usually Thigpen does the ultrasound but this time someone else did it, so we got to specially request that we get some better pictures of Rhett, because frankly, Dr. Thigpen sucks at pictures. Great at doctoring, sucks at photography…

IMG_3028

As you can see he’s quite dramatic with his hand on his forehand in a “woe is me” pose. And for those of you who aren’t very skilled in reading these pictures I will also post this handy dandy one I fixed up for Amanda’s dad of the second picture.

IMG_3033

 

The appointment went great! Rhett is at 29 weeks and 6 days and is measuring at 30 weeks and 3 days. The bigger the better so he’ll be big and strong for his first surgery.

He currently weights 3lbs and 7oz which I’m sure is at least about a pound of Kit Kat’s.

So after speaking with Dr. Thigpen we found out that the plan will be to deliver on a Monday or Tuesday, likely a week before the due date of 10/8. We’ll be able to have two people in the room with us when we deliver Rhett, which will be mine and Amanda’s moms. Along with the 4 of us will be a team of up to 8 doctors and nurses so we’ll have a packed house. The plan is for Amanda to have Rhett vaginally (weird word to type onto the internet) and only in the case of an extreme emergency will Amanda be put all the way out for a C-section.

We started talking about different things and in the classic small world scenario I found out Thigpen was at the game 7 world series game in St. Louis along with me in 2011. Pretty nice to have a fellow Ranger fan on our team!

Overall the meeting with Pigpen was a good one, Rhett is growing and growing and is doing just fine. Amanda will start going for weekly checkups starting at 32 weeks.

After this it was on to Cook’s where we had an appointment with Dr. Roten, who is the Cardiologist. My mom and Amanda’s mom met us up there so we could have some extra sets of ears. Dr. Roten didn’t have a tech on hand so she did the ultrasound/echo-cardiogram herself which was really great. She’s seriously the best and always leaves us feeling so positive about everything. Just so great at what she does. After looking she confirmed what she saw the first time we were there that it is Tricuspid Valve Atresia with Malposed Great Vessels. So the plan will be to do the 3 surgeries for sure with the first one potentially being a modified Norwood surgery since the vessels are malposed.

The hope is that Rhett will get to wait about 4 to 5 days before having the surgery. They want to wait so Rhett has time for his lungs to start breathing on their own and to build up a little. While the baby is in utero his lungs are flattened since he’s not actually inhaling oxygen that is coming from Amanda. He’ll have to go on prostiglandons (or something like that) and for whatever reason that was something she wanted to tell us, even though I’m not quite sure what those are or what they do or how it affects all of this, but it was an important note. Apparently babies who go on this sometimes have trouble breathing on their own and will need a lung machine, but she said that babies who are carried nearly to full term often don’t need a breathing machine even if they are given this medicine. A definite plus.

So one of the important questions we had was whether or not we’ll get to hold him when he’s born. From the way it sounded we would have a few minutes with him where Amanda and I will get to hold him and then before the surgery we can pick up his head and feet and things like that, but I don’t think we’ll necessarily get to hold him in our arms. That part really kinda sucks, but if it’s what’s best for Rhett that is obviously the way we’re going. They are going to do an I.V. and the best way to do that is to go through his belly button where the umbilical cord was. I think that was why we couldn’t hold him because they want to make sure they can keep that open so they can use that and not have to go in another way.

He’ll be able to wear his own clothes, which is great because I know we’ll be getting a lot of awesome stuff for Rhett who is registered at Babies R Us, Target, Buy Buy Baby, and Amazon.com. Ha! They did say however that sometimes the clothes get lost in their laundry since they do all of the changing and laundry and all that stuff so not to do like family heirlooms or anything like that.

We also talked about potential learning disabilities and things like that, but Dr. Roten said that if you just spend enough time with them and figure out the best way for them to learn that they can go on to be quite normal. Many of the people who have done this have gone on to college and gotten normal jobs and all that stuff. So, I guess we’ll have to parent him the best we can. I feel like I’ll be able to crack the code and teach him, maybe that’s why God has set this task in front of us, who knows.

Here’s me vigorously taking notes!

IMG_3060

So after this meeting we ate in the “Camelot Court”. They have Chick Fil A y’all! So needless to say, I think we’ll be alright on the food situation.

Following lunch we had a meeting with Dr. Tam at 2pm (who is apparently notoriously late because people are always stopping him to ask questions)

Vincent K.H. Tam

We sat in the waiting room at his offices and passed the time with playing some of the games.

IMG_3034IMG_3035

This woman is my favorite thing in the world. We always manage to have fun!

So we got to meet with Dr. Tam and he is super nice. He’s the one who’ll be doing the surgery on Rhett and will likely be doing all three of the surgeries. We had pretty much had all of our questions answered by the time we met with him, but it was nice to meet him and run through some of the few remaining details for the the first surgery.

The prep will take a few hours and once he makes the first incision they will call Amanda or me every hour to update us throughout the 5-8 hour surgery. Rhett could be there up to a few months if he has trouble eating after the surgery. This isn’t normally a problem for most kids when they are born, but since they won’t allow Rhett to eat until after the surgery they apparently have a lot of trouble eating.

Amanda asked how big the incision would be and Dr. Tam answered it perfectly. He said it would be the absolute perfect size to get the job done. Pretty funny moment with him.

After visiting with Dr. Tam my mom took us on a mini tour of the hospital since she used to work there in IT. This place is simply awesome. They have a lot of cool things to do with Talon when he comes to visit with his little bro.

Overall the day was just great. It left us feeling so positive and ready for this thing to get going. We’re so ready for this kid to be here! But for now all we can do is take care of the other business at hand. Keep eating Amanda!

We’ve got baby showers coming up and we got Rhett’s bedding. So for now all we can do is take care of the normal baby stuff! We’re excited about the showers and we are gearing up for the big day which is merely 8-10 weeks away!

Also, Robyn is putting in the first batch of the T-Shirts if anyone else is interested. We’ve had a bunch of people order them and I know we can’t wait to wear them and to see others wear them! Thank you so much for wanting to show your love for our little boy. I can’t wait to tell him all about this someday.

Amanda is at 30 weeks today and IT. IS. GETTING. REAL!

Thank you all for reading, sharing, and following along!!!

Amanda and I are so thankful for everyone and for Cook’s!

July 18, 2015
by Jordan Spangler
Comments Off on Feelings

Feelings

We have officially reached the third trimester which means this thing is getting closer and closer to happening! Amanda and I are so ready to see him!

I find myself caught somewhere between wanting to skip past all of this and wanting time to stand still so I don’t have to face reality. We are doing everything we can to prepare ourselves for the months ahead, but I’m pretty sure we won’t even be close. I don’t think anyone can ever be truly prepared for a situation like this.

What makes me the most sad I think is that we aren’t even the ones who will be in the most trauma. I worry about what Rhett feels.

I wonder if he can feel fear. I wonder if through any of this first surgery if he’ll feel afraid or wonder what is happening. I hope this just feels normal to him (if he can feel what “normal” is) and Amanda and I can shoulder the fear.

I wonder if he can wonder. I wonder if he can even conceptualize what is happening or consider what is happening next. I hope that Amanda and I are the only ones who have to wonder what happens next.

I wonder if he can feel tension. I wonder if he can detect our worry and heartache in the room while he’s with us. I hope that Amanda and I are the only ones who can feel the tension of knowing the severity of what’s happening.

I don’t really know what he can feel or think while all of this is happening, I just hope and pray that he can feel love. I hope he can feel the love we have for him right now as he grows stronger, but weaker every day in Amanda’s belly. I hope he can feel the love as he looks in our eyes for the first time and we look into his. There’s something about a parents touch and eyes that just make you feel like everything is going to be okay. I don’t know when that feeling begins in a life, but I hope it’s instantaneous.

I remember writing in one of my first blogs about love. I don’t think it was until the doctor told me that he was a boy that I really felt much at all towards the life growing inside and it increased quickly as the doctors were telling us what was going on with Rhett, who didn’t even have a name at the time.

Our love grows stronger every day as we inch closer to the hardest days of our lives. The love all around us has grown so much from seeing people want to get involved with making sure Rhett is taken care of and that we are able to focus on just being there for him, while all of you are focusing on being there for us.

Every day as we move closer my fear and excitement grow stronger and stronger. And as much as we say that we can’t wait, it’s becoming more literal. We literally can’t wait. The time is approaching and this is one where you can’t go around it. The only way past all of this for all of us is to go right through it.

Despite all of that we are just excited to see our little boy’s face and to show him what love is.

But somehow, I feel like he already knows.

July 13, 2015
by Jordan Spangler
Comments Off on Support Rhett with a t-shirt!!

Support Rhett with a t-shirt!!

Our friend Robyn McCauley has put together an awesome T-Shirt to help support Rhett. She has asked us to share it on the website and Facebook so everyone who want’s one can contact her. Everything more than the cost of the shirt will go directly to helping with Rhett’s medical bills. We can’t thank you all enough and can’t wait to meet this kid!

 

Click this link to order!

Team Rhett_PROOF9 Big