Amanda and I had this plan before the wedding to start trying for a baby as soon as we got married (Talon had just turned two), so we started setting some money aside for a totally normal pregnancy and birth. Well, as we all know in this world, life can come at you unexpectedly. When we found out the news that Rhett was going to need surgeries and all of that, the last thing on our minds was money. All you’re thinking about is this little life that you created and why this was the hand he was given. You start picturing the worst, but then they tell you that it can be “fixed” and you start figuring out what to do next. His heart won’t ever be perfect, but he’ll survive and grow and learn and be for the most part normal.
Obviously, you’re willing to do whatever it takes to make sure your loved ones are safe and get the best care they need. There is no other option really. When we started researching how much everything would cost it was overwhelming to start out with, but then we were able to start understanding insurance calendar years and out of pocket maximums and deductibles and it wasn’t quite as bad as we had feared. Luckily Rhett’s second surgery will fall in the same insurance plan period and by then we will have reached the out of pocket maximum with birth, surgery, and a 6 week or more stay in the NICU. His 3rd surgery will be around 3 years old or so, so we’ll have to meet deductibles and out of pocket maximums again.
I think it’s important to try to find some good in every bad situation and one that I’ve already experienced so far is a lesson in humility. I don’t think I wasn’t a humble person before, but what I’ve found to be the most humbling experience of my life is when someone helps you and you literally have nothing more to give than a sincere “thank you”. I’ve always loved to help others and give when I can and I don’t know if it’s a bad thing or not, but I found those moments to be my most favorite time and money spent because of how it made me feel to make someone else feel good. There’s not a much better feeling than giving. It’s why I love Christmas so much and have spent way too much on gifts in the past for family and friends. I think this Christmas will be a little different as we’ve already told our families that they are getting one shared gift this year and it’s a brand new bundle of joy (that’s something people say right? haha)
We were out at the lake this summer and as often happens under the night sky you get involved in some pretty good conversations. It was pretty late at night and Doug and I were sitting out on the dock hanging out and I started talking about all of this and how people had wanted to give us money and I think what he said will always resonate with me. Basically, he said not to take people’s blessings away from them. That they wouldn’t be giving to you unless they could or wanted to and all I needed to do was just say thank you. Asking for and accepting help has been the biggest internal emotional struggle I’ve had since Rhett’s diagnosis and while it hasn’t gotten easier, it’s become more necessary as we are getting closer to delivery day. Optimism has always been easy for me and maybe even to a fault sometimes because I just feel like things will always work out one way or another!
So, with all of that being said I’d like to thank Cappy for setting up a gofundme for Rhett. People have been asking us and those close to us how they can help, some wanted to remain anonymous and gofundme.com has an option to do that, which is cool. She advised similarly to Doug about not taking people’s blessings away and she wanted to provide an avenue for people to donate if they wanted to. Don’t worry, I’m not going to spam your facebook page or every post with this. The most important thing to me is still that everyone who is following along with Rhett’s story is able to come to this site or read my facebook posts and stay up to date.
So whether it’s $10 or $100 or a good thought or a prayer or a hug a or a share or a like. I hope that one day we will be in a place where we can pay it forward.
But for now, all we can say is thank you.
-Jordan and Amanda